Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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