...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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