I got chris browned last night
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
