piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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