I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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