i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
