I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
