Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Houston, we have a blender
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize