You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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