I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
