so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
