My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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