He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
