Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
