I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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