new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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