Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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