What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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