Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
