I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
