Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
