I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
