You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
