Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
