just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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