Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
