I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
