pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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