Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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