it was like his penis was on wheels.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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