He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
