I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
