he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
