At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
