I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The best revenge is premature balding
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize