I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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