You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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