I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
