If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
