we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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