lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
