he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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