O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
