Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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