3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
