i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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