is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize