I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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