Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
