yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A+ Viking dick
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
