Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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