I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
