we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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