all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
