I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
