i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
