Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
