this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
