I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
