that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
