True but thats because hes a fetus.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize