sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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