I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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