Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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